While it may be said that the camera doesn’t lie, the framing and interpretation of reality lies very much with the photographer and the viewer.

This is right outside our flat. My street’s not actually this quiet. Not a street, in fact, but a road, and a major road at that. It takes a bit of patience and good timing to stand by the kerbside to get a frame where no cars and light trails could be seen, giving a serenely quiet atmosphere. It’s definitely not as eerie as what the photos suggest it to be, but it was certainly not what you’d call a normal Friday night. Would have been perfect for a Jack the Ripper thriller-mystery genre setting (or a romantic one - you decide). It’s been a misty few nights, and thus rather warmish. The moon’s bright and clear though, unobscured by the usual layers of clouds.

Meanwhile, inside the house, we were enjoying our little Christmas party…

Photos :: Misty night
Photos :: QuGee-LG Christmas party

Graduation is such a joyous occasion - even though I did not attend as a graduand, I felt truly happy for my friends who were graduating. So many years of hard work… and finally the day has come. With everybody together in the house, families and all, it’s difficult not to feel the excitement. My heartiest congratulations to all…

This feels so odd. The guys have all left for HK. It’s only girls left in the house now - four of us. Squealing and screaming, fending off girlish antics. It’s almost like being back in an all-girls dormitory! A rare occurrence, given that Imperial has the highest male:female ratio in any British university.

‘QuGee’ as a moniker for our original household came about in an unoriginal fashion. We were living on Queen’s Gate… shorten that to QG, and read it out aloud. There. It was one of those things which you’d thought would be a temporary solution, but somehow, it stuck. We started using the term in conversations, in emails, and all matter of correspondence. And our friends also came to refer to us, the house, and themselves, the extended family, as QuGee. We acquired a domain. We have our own forums, our own Facebook group, Wiki and UnWiki. We have our own logo, and desktop wallpapers to match. QuGee has its own group on our MSN lists and mobile phonebooks. We had our own enterprise - when people attributed the success of ICMUN or LIMUN to Imperial, they could well have said QuGee. We were an epitome of efficiency, an ideal model of cohesiveness. Be it a project, an event or a game, we would ’stick together team!’

Throughout life, we meet with signposts along the way which forces us to part ways once more with the company we are with, and head along our own little paths. I may still be living with QuGee in London, but not three others - three friends I have grown to know and appreciate, and three whom I know I’ll dearly miss when they are not around. Vincent left last night, Terry this evening, and soon, in a few months, it’ll be Xiao’s turn.

This week would probably be the toughest week for many in QuGee. It marks the time when the first of us would leave this close-knit little family of friends. At least, when Kamil left last year, we knew that it would only be for a while, and that he’d be back. But not this time. It’s all sort of FRIENDSish. Guys and girls, under one roof, sharing rooms and such, finding jobs, dating even, then parting. Vincent asked me during our last night in Queen’s Gate if it looked like the last episode of FRIENDS. I must say it did… the emptiness that’s left in the flat, the feeling of the unknown beyond the last episode, what we could see. Well, we might not be physically living together anymore, but we’re still bonded by what we call QuGee. It doesn’t matter where we live; we’re QuGee by and by. QuGee’s not the household, it’s us - the individuals that make up this circle, the relationships we each have with other individuals and with the groups of individuals as a collective whole. It’s odd, I don’t think I’ve ever felt this strongly about any group of friends before. Maybe it’s just ‘cos it’s happening all right now. Or maybe it’s ‘cos it’s QuGee…

It’s tough to say which has been toughest. The goodbyes that came in primary or secondary school, the farewells I had to say when I left Sydney, the many last dinners or last reunions or last this and that with those who are close to me, the “take care”s I have said to my grandparents and relatives in my Hong Kong visits. The countless times I hugged my parents and my sis, when they send me off at the airport, or the conclusion to each round of housemateness. People (parents?) say that I’m unfeeling, that I’m stoic and all. I might appear to be so, for I can be rather reserved when it comes to outwardly signs of expression. But from time to time I do get this weird, apprehensive, unsettling feeling, and it’s during this when I’m actually at my weakest. I know it’s one of those times… when I can get into my bed and do nothing but stare up into the ceiling and think through things, just like I did when I was at Silwood last year. I just need some time… and after a while, it’ll be ok.

Mom said it well:

弃我去者，昨日之日不可留；
乱我心者，今日之日多烦忧

From Prince’s Gardens to Emperor’s Gate, to Queen’s Gate, and soon… Lancaster Gate. Gosh, too many gates. No more royalty though. Hmm, should’ve looked for a Princess’ Villa when we went househunting.

At least now we’ve got a flat. ‘Twas too close a shave. Yesterday was horrible. Felt backstabbed; the holding deposit was for nought! We were really close to splitting off and living out on our own… …

But all’s well now. Kinda. Just gotta live through the chaos of the next few days. Went to the bank first thing in the morn and trotted down to the agent’s faraway office to do the never-ending stream of paperwork. Now packing up our flat and all that. We’ve shuffled the room beds and furniture and stuff quite a bit and the landlord wants to see them back in their original positions by tomorrow afternoon. Can’t remember what their original positions are. I don’t know what to do with all my stuff.

We move this Sat. The guys are moving and flying off. The chaos!

This househunting race is such a dirty game.

These days, we’ve been popping in and out of estates offices and collecting catalogues of properties for let, shaking agents’ hands and nodding our heads smiling at how well-kept a particular apartment looks.

“Hmm, we’ll need some time,” we politely tell a lettings negotiator as she asks if we’re keen on placing an offer. And when she goes out of hearing range, we whisper to one another, “Nup, we’ll pass…” ¹

There’s about two weeks left until we’re booted out of Queen’s Gate. Terry and Vincent will both not be residing in London, and Xiao will be in Switzerland. With Kamil’s return and Kaiting new to the household, there’ll still be five of us; three rooms and a separate reception is the bare minimum we need. Add to that our high demands of a good neighbourhood in central London and taking into consideration our budget constraints, that leaves us… perhaps one flat in every catalogue we’ve picked up, and having seen (and rejected) most of what there currently is on the market, we’re close to approaching a dire state. It would really have been ideal to stay on where we are, but I suppose sometimes when things have skipped past the initial stage of mutual agreement and it’s a bit too late to disagree, then it’s too late to disagree.

^{1 How typical of East Asians. We’ll do anything to avoid saying an outwardly “no”… what with helping the other save face and preserve harmony and all that. Which might in fact do quite the opposite in the long run.}